Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'm back!

And I'm gluten-free!

Sorry for my absence (to those zero readers of mine), but I had a very long period of adjustment to being gluten-free. I'll just say one thing: gluten-free crackers, breads, and wraps SUCK. They are the cardboard of cardboards. However, I am back to cooking and therefore returning to blogging. Maybe I'll get ambitious in the near future and post a long train backlogged food porn, but for the time being, you'll just get a few.

This is gf pesto pizza topped with everything but the kitchen sink (including, but not limited to, mushrooms, red peppers, onions, tomato, broc, avo, etc). I thought the crust had a strange asceptic taste to it, but my feelings were not shared by my fellow pizza-eaters.

A slightly blurry, but nonetheless delicious pile of no tuna salad, made with my new love, tempeh. Seriously, me and tempeh just had to learn how to work with eachother. It's not like seitan, where you can throw it in anything. It needs love and attention and real understanding of its nature to unlock its potential. Can you tell that I like tempeh? Anyway, this is awesome on a bed of tomato (I added lots more) and baby spinach.

Well, that's all for now folks. But I will return, and not in two months!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Got my fix

Gluten-free, soy chocolate pudding from ZenSoy. Throw in some fresh blueberries. Who needs a brownie?

PS Also wanted to note that I discovered "Shazzie" today via a vegan raw food blog. She's really hard to look away from, but her friend, Kate, is even more freakishly adddictive. I love my raw food, but I don't feel the need to go that far. Why? Two words: urine therapy.

Day 5

Almost done with the first week of the elimination diet, and I have to say, I'm feeling better (physically) than I have in I don't even know how long. I'm down about 4 pounds total now, but I think the weight loss is sort of coming to an even keel. And don't worry, I'm counteracting it with lots of nuts, dried fruit, and waaaay too many french fries at work (about the only thing I can eat at a British pub). The interesting thing is that with no grains, no meat, no dairy, no eggs, I've sort of fallen off the normal eating pattern band wagon. I'm finding that my body doesn't necessarily want three meals (although it will always demand breakfast) a day. I'm pretty much snacking all day long, which is nice because I never feel really full or really hungry. I've also confirmed what I already knew, but tried to deny to myself - I will always like fruit a million times more than vegetables. I'm sorry vegetables, I know how healthy and magical you are, but you just don't hold a candle to a nectarine. Or berries. Mmm, berries.

However, I am very conscious of my need to get in my greens, which is where a new soup recipe from Vegalicious comes in. It is a godsend. I know it looks gross (and even grosser because of the crappy picture - damn apartment lighting!), but with the garlic and mushrooms giving it a rich, earthy flavor, this stuff is actually AMAZING. I'm eating it pretty much every other day.


Doesn't the steam coming off of it make it look good, though? I'm thinking this will be dinner tonight.

I've tweaked it a bit from the original recipe for a little more flavor, but basically, you just steam a little over a cup of broccoli, just until tender crisp. While it's steaming, sautee mushrooms (ideally at least two kinds - I use white and baby bella) in olive oil with garlic. The recipe calls for one whole clove, but I use three cuz I'm crazy like that. Oh, and it's about an equal amount of mushrooms:broccoli. Don't sautee too long, just get them tender, then whiz it all in the blender with some of the boiling water from the broccoli with lots of pepper and salt. Some nooch would be good too, but I haven't bothered to try it yet. And voila! Delicious soup with tons of veggie power!

By the way....I still want a freaking brownie.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

When deer fight back

So my hunter dad forwarded me this story, supposedly to contest the argument that deer are defenseless animals. This story is a real coup for the deer, and the moron would-be roper deserves a Darwin Award honorable mention.

Roping A Deer...Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,
feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that,
since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at
the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet a way), it
should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its
head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back.

They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked ou t
a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would
have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand
there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when
you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no
controlling it and certa inly no getting close to it. As it je rked me off my
feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having
a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many
other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to
jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few
minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At
that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling
was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny
amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the
deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in
between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind
of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my
rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years
would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where
they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --al
most like a pit bull. They bit e HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze
and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that
claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I
reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got
my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on
their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse
--strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best
thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery
would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different

I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a
horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in
the back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being
twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it
hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your h ead.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with
a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

Never underestimate Bambi.

On a different note, it is now Day 4 of grainlessness. Already two pounds lighter (oh no, Atkins was right) and all of my thoughts are fixed on a single point: BROWNIES. But seriously, fate was mocking me in my pathetic state yesterday. J and I went for lunch at Native Foods at The Camp (lovingly known as the anti-mall) in Costa Mesa, and it happened to be Womens Health Awareness Day, which somehow translates to a vegan food fair. We went in Herbivore Clothing so I could check out some vegan shoes, and what do you think is sitting there, STARING AT ME, beside the strappy peep-toes? An enormous platter of vegan blueberry dark chocolate brownies. I wanted to cry. Am I really going to live the rest of my life without baked goods that weren't made at home, by me, from 12 different kinds of expensive GF flours? The future looks dim. And skinny.

Friday, February 29, 2008

There were bells on the hill, but I never heard them ringing...

This line comes to mind as I sit on my couch, craving cake and cookies, and thinking about the photos I should be putting up here. Photos from meals in the past week or so, photos of delicious sandwiches, seitan cutlets with red wine roux and rice pilaf, even mediocre-seeming pastas that I now feel I so took for granted. Let me explain. It won't take long.

After twenty-two years of mysteriously bad health, and nine months of terrible digestive problems (all of the doctors and the dietician decided it must be IBS, because, as a 22 year-old vegan, I just "shouldn't" be experiencing this), I was told at the doctor's yesterday that it just might be celiac disease - try not eating ANY grains for the next 2-3 weeks and see if you feel better. After going home and researching it, I actually feel a bit pissed at the whole medical profession for not having come up with this explanation earlier. The long list of seemingly unrelated symptoms perfectly describe the bizarre health issues I've always had, right down to my lack of tooth enamel (just in case you were curious about my teeth).

So yeah. I would post all my backed up, beautiful, delicious pictures, and I should, but on Day 2 (only Day 2!) of grainlessness, I'm more than a little bitter. Trolling the food blogs is not helping.

I'm going to go eat some potato soup now!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

More catch-up

Another Bikram morning. This means, of course, an insatiable appetite all afternoon, so there will be a lot of food porn.
Some recent meals...
A feast of delicious beige! Leftover chickpea cutlet my new favorite sustitute for mashed potatoes - caulifower, steamed then pureed with a little soymilk and nooch, natch.
This was my dinner on Monday, another Bikram day, which meant I was stuffing my face constantly, and was still starving for dinner by 4:30, when I wolfed this down.
Followed by this...
This is from the frozen remains of my delicious birthday cheesecake. My mom veganized my grandma's amazing recipe for me - best birthday cake ever. Originally it was served with homemade raspberry sauce, but I just topped it with organic chocolate sauce. Mmmmm. I'm hoping to have the recipe up on the next blog.

And just for shits and giggles, yesterday's breakfast: a berry/spinach smoothie with flax.
Usually these turn out grey and swampy, but I thought this was actually quite pretty next to the flowers, served in J's beer glass for your viewing pleasure.

And finally, my lunch today, consumed about an hour ago.
This salad is sort of a long story. So, on Monday evening I was planning on making the lentil salad from Vcon, to keep in the fridge for lunches this week. However, I only had red lentils, but presumptuously assumed that these would be fine in the recipe. So, as they're simmering away in the homemade veggie broth that had taken almost two hours to make, I'm mincing up onions, radish, celery and carrots in preparation for the lentils. I pour the finished lentils into a sieve and tap-tap-tap, they turn to yellow mush. I just stared at them, aghast for a minute, then my food failure adrenaline kicked in. I dumped in some bread crumbs and flaxmeal, made two big patties, and tossed them in a skillet to brown. Voila! Two beautiful lentil patties that can still be lunch next week. Then I look at the bowl of veggies on the counter, still awaiting their legumes. Not one to waste food, I dash over to Albertsons (not my usual store, but it's a block away and I didn't want to drive to the health food store) to pick up some chickpeas. Another bad call. A can of regular, non-organic, chemically-infused chickpeas are $1.30. $1.30, people! I usually by organic for MAYBE .90. In my supermarket rage, I refuse to give them the extra forty cents for inferior beans, and instead go straight back home to just put pasta in the salad. And when I walk in the door, the lentil patties are gone. J is on the couch, eating the last one (after he had already eaten the baked tofu dinner I made him). So now, it's just me and the salad. Grumpy, I make some whole wheat rotelle, whisk up some vinagrette, dump them in a bowl, then console myself with the aforementioned cheesecake and season 1 of Sex & the City. Long story short, this is that salad (with the addition of .90 ORGANIC chickpeas that I picked up after bikram). It was good, but in my usual fashion, I sort of picked out the pasta and veggies and ignored the chickpeas. Yes, after all that trouble. But the truth is...I don't really like chickpeas. Don't get me wrong! I love them in cutlet and hummus form, but by themselves, I think they taste kind of like farts.
That said, I then dug into this, after perusing way-too-appetizing vegblogs.Photobucket
That would be the last third of a pint of Vanilla Rice Dream, with chocolate sauce poured in and eaten directly out of the carton. I'm sorry, did you mistake me for someone with class?
Tonight, since J and I actually get an hour to eat together, I'm thinking about making fatfreevegan's sweet & sour baked seitan, but with frozen tofu. Looking forward to it.